I made Miami Craigslist Missed Connections my browser homepage. It’s so interesting to see these losers whine about how they would “love to ask you out (but couldn’t because..).” We’ve all been there, that “window of opportunity” that closes just before you could take it cuz you were busy pretending to be really interested in your scrambled eggs. Or hiding behind magazine rack in abject horror because you finally met the girl/guy/puppy of your dreams and you’re wearing these really old short shorts that you got in Morocco and they make your balls peak out just so and it’s really embarrassing.
What must the other person be thinking? Here you are, pouring out your heart and soul into a lame little <TEXTAREA> on some site no one reads, begging fate and cashing in some karma coins, wishing your life would suddenly take the kind of turn that only happens in the movies. Meanwhile the other person has forgotten the encounter: they were just trying to decide which zucchini to buy and this guy in little shorts wouldn’t stop staring..
But then again strange things do sometimes happen. Sometimes God doesn’t fucking sell you out, just now and then, rare enough that we’ve all heard stories but no one has any personal experiences to recount. Maybe that leggy blonde with all the third degree burns on her face happens to be Craig Newmark’s sister. And maybe she really liked your balls.