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STR8BLOGGIN » Blog Archive » Stuck in hell

Stuck in hell

I’m in the Dominican Republic on “vacation.” This place is a total hellhole. Imagine Miami, but with 30X more humidity (no joke), and 30X fewer things to do, and being unable to communicate with anyone because even the resort staff doesn’t speak English. The people who are here with me, stuck as I am in this forgotten third world country, are the most ugly, rag-tag group of overweight Latins and Jamaicans I’ve ever seen.

Luckily I signed up for the $65/mo additional Cingular International Data plan, which doesn’t work so I’m experiencing serious Blackberry withdrawls.

We went to the semi-luxury mall. After doing the calculations in my head, most of the prices were about the same as they would be for the same items in the United States. I did get some nice $8 sunglasses though.

The one good thing about DR is the chicks. They’re soOoo hot. Of course they are all hookers and have AIDS, but still. I think if I was staying in Santo Domingo instead of Boca Chica I’d be having more fun, as the 30 minute drive down the lawless expressway — which seems to have neither street signs, nor dividing lines, nor speed limits — into the city is too expensive to make a few times a day, as I desire. SD has some cool old neighborhoods where you would imagine writing a really good book, or taking a person to torture them.

Anyway that’s my report from Caribbean Lebanon. I miss playing with Molly, watching Ali G and grumbling about how much I hate The Pawnshop while I’m at The Pawnshop. I can’t wait to get the fuck out of here on Tuesday.

Update: HAHA - as I clicked Save, the power went out and everyone in the lobby — which isn’t air conditioned, since nothing here is air conditioned — started shrieking. The office computers and the Internet cafe seems to be on a big UPS or generator though. The power has gone out at least six times since we’ve been here, though it didn’t go out while we were in Santo Domingo, so maybe it’s just the power to the sticks which is unreliable.

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