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STR8BLOGGIN » Blog Archive » Election disaster wrapup

Election disaster wrapup

So that’s about it. It was a trick on the grandest scale by those with hidden motives: the media, the liberal pundits. Kerry had no chance and we were sweettalked like cooing little babies into thinking it would be a victory of ideals and sanity on November 2. But it was nothing of the sort. I drove past reams of Kerry supporters yesterday. In my heart I didn’t worry about the outcome of the election because I thought what was right would prevail. But I had been deceived by the vile preoccupation of America’s media elite with liberal thinking and I had no problem getting in bed with that whore. They then fucked me for ten hours. It was twisted and now I have nothing but regrets.

This veritable landslide (three million popular votes) is a mandate. It’s a mandate to Bush that he can and should steamroll the earth into a mushy, complacent peoples governed by puppet pro-American dictators who long after Bush is out of office become as tyrannical and evil as whomever they replaced. It’a mandate to me and those like me and probably most of the people who read this site — the “intellectual elite”, the athiests, the social liberals, the non-evil — to fuck off and die cuz we may think we run things but we literally don’t count for shit. The shit-kickin baby-fuckin hicks have this country on lock and if that means we gotta invade France then so fucking be it. It’s gonna be a war of the collars for the next four years and the blues have the hoes and pitchforks.

You fucking kids, you’re the ones who will receive the brunt of my rage. If I encounter a youth, a sandy-haired blue eyed boy or girl, on the street, his pants hanging off of him like a street urchin, I will immediate set upon him with my Kerry sign, cutting through the air with a swoosh and leaving spatters of blood and splinters of cheap wood on the lapel of my tuxedo. I’ll scream at the top of my lungs: P. Diddy is crying into his champagne bottle. Vote or Die, don’t you remember?! How could you betray us like this. You’re just a little too old to get a spankin’ and you’re very lucky for that. On college campuses everywhere the hackey sack games continued long after the polling places were closed. You sold us out big time.

And what about me? You may think I’m having a mental breakdown after reading all this jibberjabber but I’m not. Sure it’s yet another crack in the core of my being but the facade is fixed firmly in place. I need curtains today like I did November 1. Work will unfortunately continue.

In order to maintain our ridiculous and overinflated sense of self importance I insist that we pretend none of this ever happened and the past two months are a meaningless blur. I mean we were soooo fucked up we can hardly remember a thing. Right?

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