Here’s a great way to keep the holiday season in perspective: find out that an icon of this great time, the reindeer, is actually a perverted filthy animal with a long, narrow dick it waits to unleash upon hapless reporters.
NBC Reporter in Alaska Sexually Assaulted by Reindeer:
FAIRBANKS, Alaska - A reporter for the NBC television station KTUU in Anchorage, found her way into the national spotlight while taping a scene with a young reindeer named Blitzen at the Santa Claus House in North Pole.
Just as the Santa hat-clad Meghan Stapleton knelt down with the reindeer’s leash in hand, a spooked Blitzen leaped on the reporter, knocking her down in a manner one witness described as a “tackle” and began to sexually assault her with his narrow, wet-looking reindeer cock.
“It is uncommon for a reindeer to attempt to copulate with a human,” said renowned reindeer expert Thlad Thorkelssen, “but during their season it has been known to occur. They can last forever when they’re really into it.”
Stapleton was not injured and even managed to hold on to the leash to keep Blitzen from running away, though he did drag her a couple feet before his knot went down and she could get escape.
Stapleton did not orgasm.