I’d make a bad homosexual cuz I am terrible at swallowing pills. I almost always puke and it takes me many tries to get a pill down. At least until now, cuz I just figured out an awesome technique: fill your mouth with water (but not more than you would usually swallow), swish it around, then pop the pill in at the last minute and swallow. Booya! Now to worry about the side effects of mixing Robitussin Extra Strength and Dayquil..
“I’m a peasant,” he said. “At one point, I thought life was about acquiring things. Life is totally about losing everything.”
I’ve been desperate to write something about Brennan Hawkins all week, but I promised someone I wouldn’t make fun of missing children. That is a true shame.
DoyDoyDoy
My sister just saved this massive Great Dane from the pound:
It’s scared of errything, I think someone sexed it long and hard. Otherwise, a good dog. AND CHECK OUT THOSE NIPPLES!
Japanese fast food chain begins selling whale burger
I must have bitchslapped an ancient Indian medicinewoman at a club or something, cuz I am having the worst luck lately:
Coco ran away (gone for seven days and counting..)
I lost my favorite clothes when moving. I suspect I threw them out accidentally. Seemingly I batched only my favorite items together before throwing them in the garbage. I’ve looked everywhere.
I have had a really bad cough for the past couple days. It seems to be finally be getting a little better now that I almost overdosed on ‘tussin. In the meanwhile I am coughing up primordial ooze on everyone I come in contact with.
Blog about photos of old shopping malls. Interesting stuff. Malls used to be way more interesting than they are now.
Slake: Satisfy, quench
This country is totally fucking mad. The sentence was reduced to “only” 27 months, but that’s still at least 26 months too many. I don’t understand how anyone can see that as just.
You aren’t going to believe me when I tell you this, but I’m peeking out my window, looking at the sun lazily rising over Biscayne Bay, and I see at least four bees trying to get in the window. They’re banging repeatedly against the glass, buzzingly angrily, they’re the Africanized sort I’m sure. If they get in here — if they find a way in here — I am doomed. You can’t negotiate with angry honey bees.