STR8BLOGGIN

Photo gallery of Chicago’s amazing Millenium Park

In exchange for the constant risk of decapitation and the woes of mass hummus ingestion, people will pay you $90,000 to be an electrician in Iraq. Search for Iraq jobs here.

I’m ashamed to say I get a sick joy out of reading puppy rescue ads.

Riley has been in foster care for about 6 months and she has learned a lot. Despite previous abuse, she is no longer afraid of sudden movements or the broom (kind of)…

Seizures kept to a minimum with new medication..

Nico is blind in one eye and missing a few teeth on the same side due to some type of injury. He is very sweet and playful. He is somewhat timid, but does come around.

I am a sick human being.

Disclaimer: I love and adore my puppy more than life itself and I RARELY administer lifethreatening beatings.

Yesterday I borrowed a pickup truck and drove 4½ hours across the state to buy a refurbished 3.5 ton roof mount package unit central A/C system for the warehouse. During this incredibly long and boring journey I had a lot of time to ponder the natural beauty of South Florida’s east-west corridors that cut through the Everglades. I’ve decided that we could turn Big Cypress National Park into a gigantic, extremely cheap self storage place and no one would really miss it. We would keep a 10,000 square foot fenced in wooded area and compress all the current animals into that space, creating a much more interesting place to visit with lots of fun animals to see everywhere you look. …

I just had to walk the massive Honey and the miniscule Coco at the same time. I’ve decided this is the most complicated feat a human can perform, much worse than the thing where you rub your belly in a circle and pat yourself on the head. The fact that Honey sprayed liquid shit in a high arc instead of her usual elephant-sized turds did not make my life any simpler.

I just dropped my cellphone in fetid Downtown Miami gutterwater. It smells, literally, like the ass of a camel.

A classy french fries, Redbull and whisky for lunch

Michael Musto has semi-evidence that Vin Diesel is straight

VIN DIESEL has a hetero past! JAMES ST. JAMES—the Disco Bloodbath author who knew Vin when he was a mere doorman at the Tunnel—feels the action star doesn’t take it up the butt after all. “I hear the gay rumors too,” James tells me. “And he does look the part. But Mark, er, Vin, was always straight. And believably so. He would sing show tunes and flirt outrageously with me and the other drag queens, but he wasn’t overcompensating—he was totally comfortable with his heterosexuality. I remember the girls he fucked! Every queen at the Tunnel was always after him, and I would have heard it if one of …

This is why I always weigh down my kitty-drownin’ sacks before I a-toss em into the salty sea:

Maggie Roberts holds Nemo after being rescued from Homosassa Bay, three miles east of Tampa, on Saturday, July 3, 2004. Roberts was out with her husband when they spotted nine-inch Nemo paddling furiously and screaming at the top of his lungs. Nemo was adopted by Rogers’ sister-in-law. (AP Photo/Clearwater Marine Aquarium, HO)

I feel like it hasn’t rained in months. I can’t remember the last time it was raining too hard to leave my apartment or the office. Wildfires are raging in western Dade, licking at the Turnpike and endangering who knows how many mindless generic housing developments. I couldn’t care less about that, I just want a free car wash.