Archive for June, 2004

McDonalds

Wednesday, June 30th, 2004

I’m so tired of hearing terrible McDonald’s commercials on the radio and seeing them on TV. Burger King has the subservient chicken and Ugoff; McDonalds has smiling black teens and fake hiphop. I’m so desperate I’m about to offer my own services to them, though I know about as much about advertising as I do about personal hygene and parasailing.

Computer professional

Wednesday, June 30th, 2004

I just realized I’ve been using my laptop for a year without ClearType.

DMX hijinx

Monday, June 28th, 2004

DMX apparently was smoking rock (no, seriously) and he crashed his car in the lot at Kennedy airport, then tried to jack someone else’s car by claiming he was FBI. Or something. My hero.

Isn’t crack a little low-class for a baller like DMX? What next, a Land Rover Discovery?

Iraq handover fakeout

Monday, June 28th, 2004

Saw something unbelievably funny and dorky on Metafilter:

<iRaQ!> hey so who’s got ops in this channel? o_O
<USA> lol xo KTHXBYE!

What a super weird move for the Americans to pull. Kinda smart, in a way, but I can’t help but picture little clouds of dust behind Bremer’s heels as they kick wildly in the air like Roadrunner.

Napolean Dynamite

Friday, June 25th, 2004

I forgot to mention that I saw Napolean Dynamite on Wednesday at a screening. It was pretty fucking funny and it’s been vibrating in my head ever since. Go see it.

Fly away my space rocket!

Friday, June 25th, 2004

ZLAD!

Judge uses penis pump in court

Thursday, June 24th, 2004

Judge pumps cock and balls in court.

Really bad luck

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2004

A plane crashed into my detailer’s office, destroying my Lamborghini inside.

Got myself together

Friday, June 18th, 2004

I am tired of working crackhead hours, but if it weren’t for those hours I wouldn’t have created Str8 and redefined the whole world of cutting. I introduce to you the first gangsta-cutter:

Name: clark
Email Address: miamipimp3308@aol.com
URL:

Comments:

I LOVE MY BABY 4LIFE 4 EVER ALWAYS…IF U NEED HELP WITH B/F G/F IM ME MIAMIPIMP3308 YAIDY I LOVE U

We can’t make this shit up, folks. I guess if you spend all day fashioning rudimentary shanks out of debris found in an alley, you might as well use those shanks on someone. Even if it’s yourself. (But not Yaidy. NEVER Yaidy!) Especially if you feel soul-rending malaise and ennui, foo’!

It’s done

Thursday, June 17th, 2004

The communi-outting of Vin Diesel that’s been going on on Str8 for months has finally reached completion. If anyone had any doubts, the posts in the past two weeks have made it crystal. He’s a fucking fag.