STR8BLOGGIN

Merry Christmas. I forgot everyone on my list.

Earthshaker, the loudest Geo Metro on earth.

I would get so much tail.

Cellphones are stupid. Two standards: GSM and CDMA. GSM’s quality is ass and the American GSM providers have spotty service, but since it’s a world standard there are an amazing array of handsets available and the latest technology (like TV, cameras and Bluetooth) comes out on GSM phones first. CDMA sounds much better and offers better coverage (supposedly) but the phones suck.

A company called Wireless Imports imports Korean CDMA phones (which are very high tech) and translates the manuals into English, so you get the best of both worlds. Unfortunately, they’re charging $2,000.00 per phone with no refunds.

Dave Winer is such a tool.

Dave, it’s not you vs. the evil huge open source behemoths. It’s good software (MovableType) vs. trash (Radio).

Here’s a great way to keep the holiday season in perspective: find out that an icon of this great time, the reindeer, is actually a perverted filthy animal with a long, narrow dick it waits to unleash upon hapless reporters.

NBC Reporter in Alaska Sexually Assaulted by Reindeer:
FAIRBANKS, Alaska - A reporter for the NBC television station KTUU in Anchorage, found her way into the national spotlight while taping a scene with a young reindeer named Blitzen at the Santa Claus House in North Pole.

Just as the Santa hat-clad Meghan Stapleton knelt down with the reindeer’s leash in hand, a spooked Blitzen leaped on the reporter, knocking her down in a manner one witness described as a “tackle” and began to …

The server that hosts this here bloggy took a big shit on itself.

I’m rarely self promotional on this site but today I’m feeling boastful. We just launched a new site and I’m pretty happy with the way it came out.

Launch Murkrecords.com in a new window

I’m in the car on Washington Avenue getting some work done and I happen to be parked next to a body waxing place. I’m really shocked by how many gross flabby moms are coming in and out of the place. I no longer wish to open a cuntwaxing place.

Fortune magazine has an article about the 25 best products of 2003. I think it’s really a joke, cuz the vomit-spout inducing Toyota Prius and new $20 bill are in the list.

p.s. Still carbloggin.

I’m writing this post from my office. That’s not anything special, except I could be writing it from the drive through at Burger King or at (ha!) a beach. I just got Verizon’s internet-over-cellular service callled Express Network. It’s basically a $200 card for your laptop and an $80/mo unlimited data service. I’m relatively impressed with it; it seems two or three times faster than dialup and it’s available literally anywhere you can get a Verizon signal. Pretty impressive.

Not that I can afford $80/mo. It’s going back in 13 days.

Update: As I write this I’m headed north on the Palmetto Expressway at 55mph. I’m not driving right now because I haven’t ordered the steering wheel laptop mount yet.