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STR8BLOGGIN » Things that reek of alcohol

Archive for the 'Things that reek of alcohol' Category

Nightclub death knell

Sunday, September 11th, 2005

I am at Pawnshop, positioned strategically outside the bathroom, and I must bring a horrible and startling confession to the respectable and honorable readers of this fair blog: if average weight is a sign of the remaining lifespan of a club, proportioned in reverse of course, Pawn is fucked! So many porkers! Jenny Craig your bottle is ready in the VIP.

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Alright, alright, I confess

Sunday, August 28th, 2005

I shot Suge Knight. I was soooo drunk.

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Stuck in hell

Sunday, August 14th, 2005

I’m in the Dominican Republic on “vacation.” This place is a total hellhole. Imagine Miami, but with 30X more humidity (no joke), and 30X fewer things to do, and being unable to communicate with anyone because even the resort staff doesn’t speak English. The people who are here with me, stuck as I am in this forgotten third world country, are the most ugly, rag-tag group of overweight Latins and Jamaicans I’ve ever seen.

Luckily I signed up for the $65/mo additional Cingular International Data plan, which doesn’t work so I’m experiencing serious Blackberry withdrawls.

We went to the semi-luxury mall. After doing the calculations in my head, most of the prices were about the same as they would be for the …

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Theological thought

Sunday, July 17th, 2005

Do you think the bad-ass, ass kicking angels like Gabriel and Michael get really upset because they’re perceived as such delicate pussies in Precious Moments illustrations, etc.?

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Serve your kids liquor, get eight years in jail

Sunday, June 19th, 2005

This country is totally fucking mad. The sentence was reduced to “only” 27 months, but that’s still at least 26 months too many. I don’t understand how anyone can see that as just.

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